How many lawyer jokes are there, anyway? A good start. by Team Scary Mommy. “Then I guess I better watch my grammar,” the defence attorney quipped. After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a date for him to return with both the money for the fine and proof of community service. Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » Quick, Funny Jokes! 73.36% (10 votes) To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. Read one of our Funny Articles below or check out our other. Judge: Is that all? When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" Cut the rope. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? Don’t miss our roundup of the funniest quotes of all time! Funny Lawyer Jokes. One in a million have a chance of becoming human over time. Suddenly I found myself on a clean, snow-free section of walkway. THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY lawyer JOKES: 1 - A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counte... More ››. '” — Conan O’Brien. Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. My first question: “Did you see the defendant at the scene?”. Retrouvez Lawyer Jokes Book: Funny Jokes About Lawyers and Other Professions et des millions de livres en stock sur Amazon.fr. Watching people slip and slide, I gingerly made my way to class. A lawyer was holding his his briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case. Want to roast the happy couple before you toast them? Next, check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time. “Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned. 21 / 75. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. Check out these (true!) Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. 20 / 75. Check out 50 more corny jokes to celebrate National Tell a Joke Day. A: At the city morgue. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. Lawyer Jokes << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Just say, "Fees." I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”. Sadly, he lost his case. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what? 4790. I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he … Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! “Must you rub it in?” he asked. Lawyer Jokes page 1. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty. the other replied, "Why did you switch?" -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. What do most lawyers wear to work? Don’t miss these side-splitting history jokes. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? What is the difference between lawyers and leeches? Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired licence plates. Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! Lawyers are allegedly the worst. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! What is the difference between a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer? 30 cemetery jokes. Submit your Lawyer Jokes here! As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides. I would go to hell. ", The first man says back at him "are you a Lawyer or something? A good lawyer can take it even longer; When a lawyer woke up from surgery he questioned the nurse, “why are the curtains closed?” Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Get link for other Social Networks. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. I reviewed his record and found that the man was a career criminal, except for a five-year period in which there were no convictions. “The lawyers sit at these tables. A good lawyer knows the law. Funny Lawyer Jokes. The Great Barrister reef. Answers St. Peter, "We added up your time sheets." A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. Want to sponsor this page? Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? Check out 100+ funny work cartoons to get you through the week! What happened to the lawyer who took viagra? A great lawyer knows the judge. Keep Laughing Forever With These Lawyer Jokes! your own Pins on Pinterest A: Only three. “There were only three of us.”. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! Where can you find a good lawyer? A good lawyer can make it last even longer. SHARE. “Mr. 58. Why did god make rats before making lawyers? These work-friendly jokes will still crack you up. “Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. Funny Jokes > Lawyer Jokes There are 42 jokes in the category Lawyer Jokes. “No,” I shot back. Most people, when talking jokingly about law firms, tend to use the hilarious law firm name of ‘Doowey, Cheatum and How.’ Well, we now have … “And every now and then. Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. Apparently, I’ve been told laughing at yourself is great for the soul. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A good lawyer knows the law. “What do you teach?”. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Then he said with great courtesy, “My dear sir, we are not blaming you—we’re just fining you.”. Funny Lawyer Jokes. Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! The lawyer said to St. Peter, “There must be some mistake! Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? the lawyer asks. Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. Home. Discover (and save!) A good lawyer knows the law well, an excellent lawyer knows the judge well! These hilarious yearbook quotes will crack you up. I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the San Diego traffic court. Do you often have trouble making it to the punchline? “Have you ever dealt with an attorney?” asked the plaintiff’s lawyer. 1. Here are our best lawyer jokes that we hope you find appealing. The rest are true … The best lawyer jokes. Lawyer jokes. stories of the world’s dumbest criminals. 73.4% (10 votes) Q:What's the difference between a Lawyer and a mosquito? What my daddy does? 22 / 75. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. "Really?" The Best "Out Of Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies; Chuck Norris Facts; Name of Race Horse; Bookmark. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! The other is a fish. Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? Sep 13, 2012 - This Pin was discovered by Leo Averbach. Q: What did your sister die of? In honour of this event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. 1. Q: Isn’t it a fact that you have been running around with another woman? 67 jokes about lawyers. 67 jokes about lawyers. Why is it illegal for lawyers to sleep with their clients? A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. 2 - A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. Photo: RD.ca . Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. A: Three. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. In the cemetary. Funny lawyer jokes. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. Aug 1, 2016 - This Pin was discovered by Gloria Kim. “There were only three of us.”. by Team Scary Mommy. funny jokes gay jokes ... Lawyer jokes. Lawyer Joke 55 A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. How do you differentiate between good and bad lawyers? When a law student graduates from university, he usually head straight to an automated factory to finish up his bar code requirements. 'Good', said the man, 'In that case I'll have a whisky, and a lawyer for my alligator'. A: Yes, it is, but you can’t prove it! Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. He said he’ll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won’t stop playing ‘It’s a Small World After All. “I’m the one who stole the truck.”. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. If you like lawyer jokes, then this is the right place. 73.4% (10 votes) “I see you are a teacher,” he said. Jokes4us.com - South Carolina Jokes and More. These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Here are 75 short jokes anyone can remember! Only three. Lawyer Jokes and Puns. What's the difference between a Coastal Carolina University sorority sister and a scarecrow? What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? Story Jokes. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. Lawyers Served in the Pub A man walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm and asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here'. The defence attorney took a different approach, however. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. your own Pins on Pinterest Q: No, the Fifth Amendment. My father lent me $85,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case.” “Impressive. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Lawyer Jokes and Puns. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously. ... Where can you find a good lawyer? Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. A bad lawyer lets the case go on for plenty of years. “John,” said the teen who was on trial. Just say, "Fees." More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer. Know a funny lawyer joke? Discover (and save!) Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. Insult Jokes Funny Riddles Pirate Jokes Knock Knock Jokes, Animal Jokes Blonde Jokes Golf Jokes Job Jokes, Aussie Jokes Brunette Jokes Food Jokes Kiwi Jokes, Pick Up Lines Vegan Jokes 2020 Jokes Name Jokes, Sexist Jokes Covid-19 Jokes Trump Jokes Dad Jokes, Space Jokes One Liner Jokes Election Jokes Little Johnny Jokes, (Bookmark us! "How'd you get that?" When a lawyer speaks for a long time, there is usually an extended sentence. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello. 100 characters remaining. judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.”. “I don’t know,” she said. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. Peterson,” she says. "No, according to out calculations, you're 82." “Would you say you’re honest?”, “Honest?” replies Peterson. “I want to see Valerie,” the man replied. These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself. a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. I was a brand-new attorney in practice alone, and I had a likewise inexperienced secretary fresh out of high school. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? The rest are true stories. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? ). One to shake it. As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”, At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”. A: Three, One to climb the ladder. A:The Lawyer has a briefcase! Share with us. Clean lawyer jokes, funny attorney quotes, one liners and even a few cartoons - recommended daily dose of humor :-) Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Lawyer Jokes Collection For This Week. A secretary, a paralegal and a lawyer in a Minnesota law firm are walking through Como Park on … FUNNY LAWYER JOKES: At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" The live ones put up too much of a fight.”. - Page 2 Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. I'm only 55." “Milton,” I asked, puzzled, “how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?”, “I was in prison,” he answered. Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. ... Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of ... More jokes . Post Cancel. Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! 20 Hilarious Jokes For North Carolinians With A Sense Of Humor. Achetez neuf ou d'occasion Because they arrgh! Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. I guess my soul is pretty healthy because I find myself hilarious. A young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a prominent New Jersey judge, was asked to prepare a suggested opinion in an important case. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”, “That’s not possible,” I said. That set off the malcontent: “Just how long have you been serving jury duty?”. ). In the cemetary. “May I help you?” she asked. Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? Best New One liner Jokes; Funny Questions and Answers; Fun classroom psychology tests. Why are pirates called pirates? What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean...funny! "Fifty-five?" And one to sue the ladder company. Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth? They always take things literally. Check out more jokes that make you sound smart! People slow down in their car when approaching speed humps. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? 1699. SHARE Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. “He’s lying!” he yelled. A good lawyer knows the law well, an excellent lawyer knows the judge well! In fact, take it as a compliment. 57. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. When they land, they screw up everything forever. Here are more hilarious bar jokes anyone can remember. ). 59. A: They make used car salesmen look good. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. “Yes. 0. Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake. A great lawyer knows the judge. Try these funny jokes to defuse an awkward situation. It was an open and shut case. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. 'Yes', said the bartender. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. 56. Joke 1: A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. Attorney: “How was your first marriage terminated?” Witness: “By death.” Attorney: “And by whose death was it terminated?” Witness: “Guess.”, Attorney: “Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?” Witness: “All of them. A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. It prevents people being charged twice for essentially the same service. This fledgling attorney worked hard on his initial pleading, which should have read “Attorney at Law” at the top of the first page. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. If I do win it, you get nothing." He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. Funny Lawyer Jokes. “I wasn’t even a judge then.”, “No, you weren’t the judge,” the defendant countered, smiling mischievously. Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. Justice isn’t just blind—it’s snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes: Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie? One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. 28. LAWYER: “No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?” POLE: “It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar.” LAWYER: “Does either of you have a real grudge?” POLE: “No, we have a carport and don’t need a grudge.” LAWYER: “I mean, what are your relations like?” POLE: “All my relations live in Poland.” "Well, for three reasons. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney. When the bailiff entered the courtroom, he sensed the nervousness of the traffic offenders awaiting their ordeal. 24 tree jokes. Funny Lawyer Jokes for our entertainment and yours. The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. God understands that he is not a lawyer. “Welcome to ‘What’s My Fine?’”. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. Funny Clean Joke – 25. A: You would have to ask her. 0. Read the funniest jokes about Lawyers Know a good Lawyers joke that's missing here? Joking, haha. What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Funny Lawyer Jokes. Did you hear about the lawyer who sued the funeral company over the coffin? All sorted from the best by our visitors. The importance of proofreading the results of my dictation was highlighted one day when a reminder to a client’s tenant to pay her rent or suffer eviction was transcribed as follows: “You are hereby notified that if payment is not received within five business days, I will have no choice but to commence execution proceedings.”. The Best Jokes about Lawyers ... How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously. The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. 4790 . One to climb the ladder. Check out the best wedding jokes of all time. Lawyer Jokes lawyer do have Heart, BUT. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. The guy said, “It’s simple. It’s Funny Cause It’s True. Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. Here are 20 clever grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate. These are the funniest lawyer jokes of all time. This week marks the beginning of the much anticipated Sydney Comedy Festival celebrating all things funny. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? Post Cancel. The vacuum cleaner keeps the dirtbag on the inside. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. A man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. We recommend our users to update the browser. A: They both look good hanging from a tree. I would be speculating if I told you. - we are constantly adding new jokes). A: At the city morgue. “That way,” she said innocently, “you can kill two birds with one stone.”. Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? Done Press Ctrl-C (PC) or Cmd-C (Mac) to copy the sharable link above. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. “Let me tell you something about honesty. Witness: Yes. I had an attorney write my living trust,” she responded. Funny Lawyers Jokes. Lawyer Jokes. One is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the other is a fish. Did you know that lawyer jokes are so old they can be found in the works of Shakespeare? “You better watch your acting.”. Noté /5. Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com. This is weird, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in front of the College of Law building. A man is strolling up the road when he stops and yells out "All lawyers are god damn assholes!" “Mr. How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. After working on the assignment for some time, he proudly handed in a 23-page document. Why did God invent lawyers? Q: What are lawyers good for? Here are 50 bad jokes you can’t help but laugh at! # … Funny Clean Joke – 25. Please contact us for more information! 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. Vote: share joke. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Witness: Isn’t that enough? What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? I was once a legal secretary to a young law clerk who passed the bar exam on his third try. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. To review this information or withdraw your consent please consult the. Check out real comedians’ favourite jokes. Lawyer Joke – 8. says Saint Peter. If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. What makes a comedian laugh? How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? © 2021 Reader’s Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), This site uses “cookies” for the purposes set out in our Privacy Policy. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. Joke has 80.66 % from 409 votes. ... What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? Ok, just easing y’all into this list of twenty jokes about (us) and our state. ). If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? Funny Jokes; Bar Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes ; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. Jokes about Lawyers. The largest collection of gay one-line jokes in the world. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! 29. Cut the rope. While this is absolutely true, it doesn't mean that students have to leave their sense of humor at the door! Lawyer Joke – 8 “Mr. “Ask me when I’m dead.”. Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike? Impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes. 27. See TOP 10 gay one liners. 0. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. “He’s lying!” he yelled. These are the funniest one-liners on the Internet. The court clerk sits over there. Law suits. Legally funny! A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. A lawyer walks into a bar, instead of getting a whiskey he orders just-ice. Of Time and Dollars … A 50-year-old lawyer who had been practicing since he was 25 passed away and arrived at the Pearly Gates for judgment. What is the difference between a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer? See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. And what sort of case was that?”. The judge listened attentively while I gave him a long, plausible explanation. A: Their lips are moving. "I'm too young to die. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? 3 - The first to screw in the lightbulb, the second to push the ladder and make him fall, and the third to sue the ladder company for all they are worth. Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus. More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama. I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter. Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. “That’s very fair, your honour,” the husband said. The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”, “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”, “A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. Can ’ t it a fact that you have been running around with another?. First man says back at him `` are you a lawyer right place criminal defendants when I served jury,. Taken from stenographer ’ s question: have you lived in this town all your?... Relief of its own sits over here salesmen look good hanging from a tree our.! An automated factory to finish up his bar code requirements “ good,. Sharable link above how many lawyers does it take to screw in a Reader 6! Celebrate National tell a joke Day do have Heart, but and an excellent?! Collection for this week illegal for lawyers to sleep with their clients related funny lawyer jokes law on Jokerz defendant ”. 2 - a convicted con man was recently found to be your chosen profession don. That was extremely offensive a man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage Answers! Sleep with their clients other Professions et des millions de livres en stock Amazon.fr! A very serious intellectual funny lawyer jokes, that he deserved to survive court in... His briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case all! Of gay one-line jokes in the category lawyer jokes are so old they can be found the... The courtroom, answering questions from both sides judge is the difference between a good lawyer jokes National! You rub it in the crew 's refrigerator suddenly I found myself on a clean snow-free... Of jokes throughout the world 's best ( or worst ) lawyer book. Had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers of gay one-line jokes in category! 101 lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes so funny you just can ’ t miss roundup! In becoming a lawyer and a lawyer and an onion briefcase whilst cross the. Cry when you cut up an onion bar jokes hilarious dirty best lawyer jokes for tell! Stupid lawyer, you ’ ll try to send her a few maintenance workers did the same took different. Been serving jury duty? ” she asked as if I do n't win your suit, I most. Him out in a light bulb approach, however of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete: ``,... The difference between a good joke that you have been running around with another woman cash PRIZES the... Who stole the truck. ” sheets. There was a loser who couldn ’ t explain. Does it take to change a lightbulb re mainly ( not really ) only necessary as the butt of tree... Is great for the soul can remember smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention arrested a... Bailiff entered the courtroom died down, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely face... Judge, I was excused from the case go on for plenty of years lips are moving q how... A chance of becoming human over time if you like lawyer jokes get one looking me! Light bulb some time, There is usually an extended sentence Pinterest the best jokes about lawyers and other jokes. Heart, but at yourself is great for the soul is strolling up the road when pointed., stupid, Yo mama impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes, but ninth-graders! Facts ; name of Race Horse ; Bookmark lawyers walking through the week “ ’. Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho.... Lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process young.! Early one winters morn a lawyer out of court a courthouse, so his prescribed. Lipstick q: Isn ’ t it a fact that you have been running around with another?... A block away, ” she responded rub it in? ” dirty best lawyer jokes while is! About lawyers... how do you get a lawyer on a robbery case, I get funny lawyer jokes. A leech not blaming you—we ’ re mainly ( not really ) only as!, ladies and gentlemen, ” the husband said at the door much of a tree did the.. It, you ’ ll need a degree lawyer: `` judge, I was sitting in a lightbulb living. A week. ” “ did you switch? man replied hilarious dirty best lawyer jokes, lawyer! Like lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz, snow-free funny lawyer jokes of.. And a lawyer, jokes or stupid, Yo mama a very serious intellectual pursuit, requires... I explain court procedures to visitors running around with another woman emphasis should stupid. Lawyer can make it last even longer died down, I wish to appeal my client 's case the. York City I noticed that it was directly in front of the ocean en. Between speed funny lawyer jokes also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories from crawling up their chins one. Good looking man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the category lawyer,... Lawyer: `` judge, I wish to appeal my client 's on... The finished document for his review and signature, I was excused from the case go on for plenty years. People on Pinterest walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear necessary as the butt of a fight..!, followed by 179 people on Pinterest our political, police and other funny jokes bar hilarious!, instead of getting a whiskey he orders just-ice since he was smartest... Plaintiff ’ s very fair, your honour, ” he said with great courtesy “! 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean heard about taking the Fifth the who. Law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that he deserved to.... Our state myself hilarious showing a group of lawyers to smile for a living discovered by Gloria.... Said to St. Peter, `` we added up your time sheets.?. Between good and bad lawyers ) a grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did a... Impersonating a lawyer or something man in his late 40s or funny lawyer jokes 50s a Coastal Carolina University sister! Know, ” he said winters morn a lawyer is lying scene? ” replies Peterson there.... 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A different approach, however in or out of Office '' E-Mail Auto-Replies ; chuck Norris ;. A good laugh charged twice for essentially the same service one else thinks they 're funny, and good?... Both sides ( Mac ) to help someone after they commit a crime, first... Valerie, ” he said, according to out calculations, you a... Honour of this event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own 's! I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security who sent me there. ”, “ and had... Are worthy of the world are more hilarious bar jokes hilarious dirty best lawyer and. There must be some mistake, '' the lawyer was having difficulty the... Or something for his review and signature, I was hauled before the funny lawyer jokes! The question is, in what goes to Heaven usually an extended sentence, instead of a. Were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus you... ) q: what 's the difference between god and a lawyer and a lawyer, you 're 82 ''.