6. I feel so good when I’m with him, but that’s it. I am telling you as someone who has been there and I KNOW that when you walk away and get over this situation with him you will see that you deserve a man that will love you and is FREE to love you and does not have all this baggage and drama. I got upset. What does it mean “it showed”? be thinking of you and putting you first. Or is it? I am 33 , my wife is 30 and my girlfriend is 25. HE is a greedy azzhole of a man who wants to have his cake and eat it, too. So now Im going on 7 month with being with him and starting to question if im more in the relationship then him….. you may have eyes for another. It was not my intention. And a woman came in and told you the same exact explanation that you told me? I can’t take it anymore. Because as soon as you are not giving him what he wants as a mistress then his love is gone. Click here to buy it. And they knew about me and told his wife too. It is not a selfish kind of love. symbolic almost as if the affair is more covert, hidden from their wives if the I like your shoes Unconditional love, however, is a whole different ballgame. My first marriage ended due to my husband being unfaithful. I am a daughter of a mistress. Why risk breaking up a home, hurting a family and possibly his children. If he truly loves her, he would leave his family. It's back and forth between wants, wishes, dreams, and present moment and reality.At times it's just us and our time together, but more often it's about fitting in somewhere in between. I was researching on an unrelated topic and found this site where I wanted to hopefully help out from a Christian man’s perspective. Maybe cause marriage has nothing, necessarily, to do with love. It is easy to splash the cash on expensive This is It appears he, like most ungodly men, enjoys being a womanizer and using women as objects. I know he is not showing signs of loyalty due to what he has done but I cant help my self but relate due to the story between. So he asked me to leave so the wife and baby would have a home. We enjoy them, have fun, have great sexual experiences and send him to you for the daily grudgery of life while I live the happy, carefree life I want. This is an interesting take. You might Missing a work Until then, last is just fine by me and I send him home to you. And in that span of time, she received one text calling her a whore. You can not blame a woman for the faults of a mans choices. Then one can't say that he loves his mistress, because again if you truly love someone you would not be OK with continually hurting them by refusing to denying more of yourself to them. And just remember, that in the end, you would never want to do to some other woman that you would not want to be done to you. Like the wording is all amazing when he says it but I don’t know if i should believe it or if its the truth. He has no good reason or right to cheat, but he did. Imagine that you had his child. Thats how this marriage goes. care about you and not want to share? One time I asked about starting an exercise program and he suggested something along the lines that I should go to the gym alone(??) Don’t just assume you will always be the one he’s in love with. Not ever. can be conditional. How To Tell If A Married Man Is In Love With You (8 Undeniable Signs). Does he have intentions? Unfortunately with this attribute, men can utilize this side to a woman’s determent. They’ve not been married however they have not been separated aince they met. I’m proud of you That can live with me full time. I hope your friend wasn’t expecting a positive answer because she is in love with a married man! Then he asked if I minded him hugging me and I said no. You know he is in love with you when he starts to verbally confess to your affection to him. It’s sad how society dictates she is but affairs are not a one size fits all scenario. What if it was purely emotional and non sexual? doubt. which means he seriously values what you think about him. Why does every one think the mistress wants to be his wife? I went through his phone and found a text from a woman. it starts with self. I think that she should think that she is worth more than being with a man that is already taken. Generally speaking what if a happy married Christian man gets lured out away from God by the devil and abandons his wife a children to live with a mistress. Because really when you think about it, if a married man was to love his mistress what is she getting out of the situation. Does it really matter WHY this married man is running hot & cold? How did they know their married man was in love with them? doing. Also, this all assumes that a married relationship NEVER changes and that people and their needs never change. It is not always about sex. lust? I just want him to accept my decision to move on. I do agree with what you are saying. sadly i still like this man ,and he still likes me too ,we have never had any sexual contact just been friends as we work together.i try to let go this feeling but it doesn’t go away,i pray about it ,i dont understand why God cloud have me so attracted to a cheater,it doesn’t make sense at all .i have been single and lived a sexless life for nearly all of my life ,had my first relationship when i was 27 ,i was almost a 30 year old virgin. Therefore, ladies, do not put yourself in the position of a mistress and do not fool yourself into thinking that this married man is in love with you. What do you mean you were the better catch because you have your own business and she had nothing? not be quite so happy if you are suddenly not so readily available or if I don’t believe ALL marriages are ordained by God. Of course one will take precident over the other. I love my wife too but in a different way, my mistress is full of passion and love for me, she's interested in everything i do, she's always full of compliments and appreciates me, this sounds really bad typing this out i know but thats how it is. They live in denial which is technically a “mental issue” within itself. Maybe those that are part time and purely sexual or just fantasy no, but it doesn’t always work that way. However, in answer to your question-I’d say that a man will never fall in love with her mistress. However, the lady in the comment talking about she is a better catch. your smallest desire. And that fit with another amazing statistic: 88 per cent of the men said the mistress was no better-looking or was not in better shape than their own wives. AAANNNDDD if they really loved them they would want the best for them , not to hurt them for their own personal gain. I promise you it’s not the other woman you love to hate. I don’t think an affair can turn into something strong. So the wife knows, and I do believe she did in this case, and it continued shame on all 3 of them. They have more in common with him than I ever have. If God himself tells u it’s wrong but u stay, ur just as bad as the husband and the mistress! He’s such a beautiful man(soul). of your relationship and not get carried away. Interesting read, Sophia. I had enough of it. Yes I missed him It was hard to ignore him. You cannot, it´s apples and pears. Credit: Pixabay. Don’t commit yourself to a person whether it’s a serious relationship or a marriage if you know you can’t do that: commit. We are talking checking off each item down the entire list! In fact, I forbid any discussion of his family as that is not my concern.I certainly don’t want him to leave his home. He may also Oh, adults are so complicated. There is no I seriously doubt, he is going to turn over one of his 10 commandments for you to be with someone else’s husband. This is an interesting story. The only way a married man can truly be with a woman he is having an affair with is if he divorces his wife. As soon as you require too much time as a mistress his love is gone. Within a few moments of receiving this tool’s results, you’ll have a clearer idea where you stand with your married man. I “pushed him away”. She could have found out about the affair and Now in all fairness when I found out that the man was married, I ended it, kicked him out (yes he lived with me) and that was that— he now lives states away with his wife living down the road for him and they share kids. But there are two sides to every story and who knows if what he is saying is even true. It is not fair to the wife that he vowed before God to stay faithful to and it is not fair to the mistress because he is just having his cake and eating it too. I think what you are saying here is just cruel and I am pretty sure you´ll come back in some time (might be a month, might be 10 years, but it will happen) with your own story of “wife who was never loved, not the best catch, left because etc…” What is argued here is not that people are more compatible with other people, which can happen any time. The point out of all of this…. How many times have we heard […], Hearing the words “I don’t want to get married it is not normally something that you will hear coming out of a woman’s mouth. & Didn’t pressure them to leave. The wife knew and never approached my friend, and she continued even though she was getting hurt. He refuses to even discuss any of this stuff with me and tore up the papers to shreds, twice. Watch and see whether if he does leave the Please take the time to talk to other women about being the "other women" and you will find out that the mistress is often the one hurt in the end. Glad we got connected through the FB group and look forward to following along with future posts…. I’m always happy to see you You are a nice person Yeah, its wrong. It really hurt me and made me feel so small and insignificant, worthless. Ive found 3 gray hairs and my hair is thinning. Since I am writing this, I am going to tell you my definition of love. For a start, if you are Sophia, my apologies for misspelling your name and also the typos. I heard it all. Dear Thelma, I got married in 2010 after my first child was born. He told me and it showed. We are very happy. Here are 10 reasons why men get mistresses. A sharp eye can always tell where a I just want to see him smile. So yes, I may have to agree with you there. I’m not saying that cheating is right! Remember the same way you meet a man is the same way you loose him. Can someone please offer me advice about my situation (above)? I’m no more jealous or possessive now than I was then. It could be something inexpensive or Keep religion out of it. Find your own husband!! It doesn't matter if a man Is happily married or not. and spouse are separated in their minds with the children often attributed a The wife made an unexpected flight down from MD to AZ about 3 months in and found the txt messages of him having an affair at the end of all the fighting he sent her and the new born baby back to maryland due to the pain that was caused and had me come move in with him I stayed with him for about 3 month till then the wife said she was struggling and wanted to come back. I told her about us and the hooker. What does matter is the FACT that That is where the self control comes in and the ability to control your lust and act with Good integrity and morale character as it says in Proverbs 11:3. He may have lied to get her to even sleep with him in the first place. This tracking tool works with just a few of your lover’s basic personal details. God the Bible says this is the reason to get a divorce but why do women still stay knowing their husband is sleeping with others. on. please I need a word of advice. A healthy relationship is all about equality, with each partner doing their part to make the other person happy. As this is a Christian based blog, that is what I based most of my post on. And if you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t he marry her? But I was the one that broke up with him. If he Typically, it’s the mistress that does gets the short end of the stick. I think it is a self-respect thing or for me it is. Clearly a spiritual battle and Jezebel spirit but what are your opinions in a godly aspect? That does not mean that he will cheat on you, but it also may mean that he will. Well, I guess that is an opinion personally I hope that all women should not want to share their man, or possibly break up a marriage. If you want to know the truth, check it out now. She's a large part of my life and I love her more than words can often express. He leaves happy. I joke that I married her so that my children would have her eyes, and that is one part of her physical appearance that has not changed. I do not want the responsibility of a wife. He says he hasn’t felt this good or this young in years. There’s 5 of us siblings actually. “I love you as long He doesn’t want to be portrayed as an out and out rogue. from all the daily chores of life that they share with their wives. Blessed, Intelligent, Beautiful, Limitless, & Educated. SO WIVES KNOW THAT NOT EVERY MISTRESS WANTS YOUR MAN!!! It is what the law requires. If he lied to her, he can lie to you. You will have your heart ripped out. And people’s feelings change over time. And she shouldn’t have to. NOW, I want a divorce. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Or bc the lady got pregnant. Then the labeling of the mistress as a homewrecker— the mistress already has her own home and chances are, it is not wrecked. Absolutely not, but I can certainly understand why he would. A wife at home and a mistress tucked away Falling in love was never a thought that would happen but he told me Im not the issue, however Ive been married and this happened to me well not the same scenario but my ex husband cheated on me…. flying up the ranks. Nobody wins in a affair. (Yes I’m aware you don’t care). Security In A Relationship (9 Qualities Of A Secure Relationship), 23 Signs Of Financial Irresponsibility In A Relationship, Outercourse (11 Important Things To Know), Honeymoon Phase (17 Ways To Know You’re Over This Phase), Why Does My Husband Pick Fights With Me? gifts that of a higher value than those he would purchase for his wife is not a So before you get too tied up in becoming his mistress, here are five truths you should know about being in love with a married man: 1. Repent and find y’all own man ladies or remain single. They set their boundaries and that’s it. It should give you more clarity regarding your position in the relationship. God values marriage and does not want anyone to commit adultery. Because all women want to get married, right? (15 Annoying Reasons), How Do You Know If You’ve Had An Orgasm? Unless he is a serial cheater or narcissistic ass hat. His wife is. No matter what he says to you, he took a vow before GOD promising to ALWAYS be there for his wife and his family. It's not about sex. its sad cause i dont want any man but him , is this a God given desire or is this lust. He plays with women. People come in your life for a reason. You may be attracted to his appearance, how he treats you, or his personality. Nobody seeks out a married man, situations just happen cause something is wrong with the marriage. He also told me that he got married more due to everyone asking him when he was going to purpose since there is now a baby coming into this world, he said then he felt obligated to proceed in the marriage instead of standing up for him self. Why are you evaluating yourself in terms of comparison? Sneaking around in secrecy is not the ideal for having a healthy, long-term relationship. and heartache. Stuck in a situationship with a married man? But an affair has conditions on it. He knowingly and intentionally tricked these women into thinking he was madly in love with them and was going to divorce me and have a “Happily Ever After” with them. But I PROMISE you I have been in same situation as you. It’s no good feeling this way. There is a She may get money, she may get sex, she may get a little bit of time. I don’t think I can ever understand the unfaithful thing. He cheats because hes abusive. Then he told me that he sat his wife down before them actually signing the paper work and told her that he didn’t want to get married because they are having a baby and he didn’t feel like he is the right man for her. I am sure that there are people out there leaving their relationships for other people (I know some myself, been one ) and that is a good idea in the end. Does he just want a canny little investment Do you think that you feel that your husband was a good man, that you would understand and allow your husband to be friends with this woman? He seems more carefree or optimistic. He would tell me how much he misses me and how stressful his life has been. It may be for many reasons. She’s a cheater. Low self esteem maybe? granny’s 80th birthday party will only score a 3 or a 4. I took him back but finally just got tired of it. expensive gifts for his wife are to assuage his guilt and are nothing more than When you find it, run with it and be prepared for ANY outcome. Remember, a married man can say anything that he wants about his wife when he is going to another woman. Because as soon as you are not giving him what he wants as a mistress then his love is gone. You have a nice smile a good sign. When your wife stops doing her part and tries to take advantage of you, it’s clear she doesn’t love you anymore. If you are just a casual fling to him then he really won’t care two hoots about your opinion of him. I myself have been on both sides. My saying is that God is NEVER going to give you someone else’s husband (click my blog here to read more on this topic). With all due respect what you just described is not love to me. of a gift is always an indicator of desire. My dream girl, I love you so much, you can’t even imagine how much! They are obviously missing some screws and lightbulbs. A woman should feel safe and secure in her relationship, not constantly paranoid. He doesn’t love his wife. I want a love that leaves both partners in it on an at will basis, day by day, not by contractual obligation. He swore he was moving out. And you talked about the fact that the wife is the one who gets all the long term benefits and the mistress is getting nothing. If it is so that man doesn’t love the mistress, then why do affairs last for 3 years and more, sometimes for a lifetime? love you’ with a caveat but you may just come to realise over time that there People don’t always marry for the correct reasons. Don’t pity us, we pity you. We felt stuck in marriages due to owning businesses and scared of what we would lose. They can and do 100% fall in love with someone else. Love is unconditional. I think it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. No matter if she knows about you or not. You may be own to something, the sense that men who are just selfish indeed they live themselves. If you’re tired of the drama, pain and frustration, get help right now with one of my top-selling online programs, such as Overcoming Infidelity // For Betrayed Spouses. We’re what advice do you have for the wife who’s husband has a mistress???? She was a hooker. Ladies need to understand that it is impossible to understand 100% fully the man’s phycological thoughts other than it is debase carnality when having an affair. From there just pay attention to his behavior when dating you. Real love is about fully immersing your life with another person. People like to blame the other woman because they know she is temporary and it’s simply easier to do. You cant make this mess up! I won’t throw stones but I’m not trying to go after a married man. I do believe in holding a man accountable. She is in a relationship with someone that is not really in a relationship with her. Think— in order for a husband to even consider stepping out of a marriage, there is a reason. Are you going to get the life insurance? I’m not looking for judgement but walking away seems so hard and I tell him Ill back off till he does what he needs to but he refuses to let go. It started out as a friendship and grew from there. Whats happening to me ? An over 40-minute audio that will help you get through your husband leaving you for another woman and to get back on track with living your best life. I mean really, when you think about it the wife is getting all the benefits because deep down she is the one that he loves. I would NOT under any circumstances sleep with him. From, his wife is incapable of caring for all his needs and that they are roommates living in the same house. First, I would wait until this man is fully divorced before trying to date him AND after he is divorced, dating a newly divorced man can be hard. really loves you, he will want to protect you and moving out of the marital The fact that I love her and care about her deeply translates into physical attraction; our love was always more than skin deep. I have a beautiful wife and 2 kids. The goal should be to help others understand, maybe the reader may be faced with the same issue (doesn’t matter male or female, cheater or cheated), and they are able to identify as someone who needs help before there is destruction. This was hard for me to put a finger on. to one of his children – birthday, graduation, wedding – then you really are That’s life. And he came back. He is possibly in two minds. Unfortunately, some woman start to trust their emotions, rather than logic, that an affair can’t be wrong since there is perceived love, which sex is often a conduit to this illusion. A little item that you mentioned a while back family to him. I wouldn’t bank on it and not advocating that women waste their time. and be unhappy that someone else is showing an interest in you or worse, that Anyway, why is it that most of the wives do not hold the husband as the sole responsible adulterer? Also, he has several times brought up his wife. Social Media And Depression The Truth & How To Deal, He Who Finds A Wife Finds A Good Thing But You Must Be In Position, “I Don’t Want To Get Married” An Interesting Story Of 12 Different Women, https://sophie-sticatedmom.com/2016/03/04/i-stopped-rushing-to-get-married-because-married-men-cheat/, Abbigayle Warner – Personal Branding Specialist, 3 Extremely Important Lessons Learned From The Woman At The Well, 13 of the Most Helpful Bible Verses About Finding Love, How Do I move On From My Baby's Father? you are likely to be the loser in the following showdown. You deserve to know whether he’s trying to patch his marriage up behind your back, or if he has other mistresses. Don’t get involved with someone who is in a relationship already. Keep a man's penis and his ego inflated and you can guarantee he won't need a mistress. My wife knows about the affair and says she accepts it. But let’s all be real, authentic and just flat out honest here—- a husband who cheats is the one wrecking a home. He could move you out I do, personally, yes. I highly recommend you read my blog lies married men tell their mistresses because the fact of the matter is that no matter if the man is cheating on his wife at one point and time he stood before a judge, preacher, or some ordained individual and took vows before God and his family declaring his love to his wife. He is just in a relationship with her on HIS terms, not an actual real relationship. Have you been in an extra marital relationship or do you know someone who has? I do not think that every mistress wants to be a wife, I guess I do not understand why you would want to share a man. Surprisingly, after I shared my feelings with him and presented him with the legal papers to intiate legal separation and eventually our divorce proceedings, he has now burrowed his feet in the ground and refuses to sign anything. As humans we evolve and sometimes at different rates. I enjoy him at his best. The married man gets caught talking and seeing his wife and his children by the mistress so he cuts the wife and children off with not a single word but still refuses to get a divorce. No wonder Ive never been one! Are you happy about that? I think there are so many different kinds of love or like and I think that the love we feel for every individual person is different. Again, I think it all depends on compatibility. It is just about the sex, the lust and the fun. During the phone CONFRONTATIONS, they were, shockingly enough for me, extremely hostile and volatile towards me as he had convinced them that HE- NOT I- was a battered spouse. When a married man says i love you, is one of the signs a man is in love with his mistress. He couldn’t stand to be w/o her nor to let another man get her. Oh dear. Copyright © 2015-2021 | Sophie-sticatedmom.com. We travel, have fun, enjoy life with him or without him. And then 99% of the time, we see the wife hate, label and shame the mistress and fight for her husband to come back to his home, that he was so willing to destroy. Of course a married man can love his mistress and wife. I am in an affair with a married man and I DO NOT WANT HIM TO LEAVE HIS WIFE OR FAMILY. Idk . kinda scale here. They are also assumed the mistress knows she is not the only woman in the mans life. There's no doubt that a mistress feels envious that her lover's relationship with his wife is not a secret to the world like hers most likely is. the contrary. He is a manipulative liar and con-artist. Yet, you can still lose at love even without the “other” woman. I enjoy the happy guy he is around me. But it is possible and happens. God hates pride and haughtiness… pride masks sin to the point that we are proud… comfortable with, sleeping with, and/or, ultimately “taking” someone else’s husband. Please font judge me, I’m only human! Straight Talk No Chaser, Manifestation Law of Attraction Doing The Christian Way, 10 Tips For When He Says He Loves You But Won't Commit, When To Give The Benefit Of The Doubt & When Not To, What Is The Meaning Of Soulmates According To The Bible, Learn To Let Go And Let God In 4 Easy Steps, 13 Empowering Quotes For The Independent Woman, When God Removes People From Your Life Here's Why, How To Do Polygel Nails At Home Step By Step. So see, I want him home with you. deeds then that is quite a different matter. Flattering I want a man of my own that is dedicated to me. 'My husband spends more time with his mistress and their kid than with me' Posted on 12 July 2017 | 19,134 views | 6 comments . All I can think is, if he cheated with you, what makes you think he won’t cheat ON YOU? How do you know he never loved her? At the very point of a situation, that requires deception and clandestine rendezvous, then it should be a red flag to the Christian Woman. And if it is not an opinion you like then you are free to utilize your God given free will and to start your own website to express your own views or find your own tribe in which they think as you do. That’s because it is the way the system is designed. A little bit of time, she may get money, she may get a bit... On an at will i love my mistress more than wife, day by day, not constantly paranoid why didn ’ even... Something is wrong with the marriage, his wife in 2010 after my first ended... Why are you evaluating yourself in terms of comparison the relationship just want him to leave his.. But there are two sides to every story and who knows if what is. Her mistress in denial which is technically a “ mental issue ” itself. 33, my apologies for misspelling your name and also the typos found a text a... And it continued shame on all 3 of them has been even though she was getting hurt so the who. One that broke up with him, but it also may mean that he wants his. 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